Lydia 

 

How are you feeling right now?

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I feel a little distressed because of what is happening in the world, but I feel quite good in myself. Hoping the battle with body image and health due to quarantine won't shake my confidence. 

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How do you feel about your body?

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I love how it feels and I love what it does for me. Whenever I gain a lot of weight I still feel comfortable and sexy, it's just the views from others that usually impacts how I look at myself. I feel like it's a constant battle with what I eat and the number on the scale, which is definitely due to body standards as I usually feel confident and good in myself and my body.

 

What do you think about the rules of how you're supposed to dress at your size? 

 

I think it's people with narrow minds and advertising standards that make us feel we can't dress in certain ways, we should dress however we wish! I have a lecturer that specifically told girls not to wear anything tight on stage, which I think is horrendous. Comments such as that here and there, will make you question your own good judgement. Sometimes I feel it's because I feel so confident in such outfits that I am 'not meant to be wearing' and the person that is judging doesn't have that confidence in their own bodies to wear the same item of clothing.  

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Have you ever felt sexualised by your size? 

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I have but in the same way that all women are sexualised. I definitely think I have been sexualised due to my size behind my back. My partners have definitely liked my size and shape in a sexual way, but I personally have loved that, anyone would like their partners to feel physically attached to them. 

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What do you think the assumptions are that people make about you?

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Hopefully that I dress the way that makes me feel best. Sometimes quite artsy and unusual. I try to wear clothes that complement my shape or I feel sexy and comfortable in, whether it's fashionable at the time or not. 

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Do you think losing weight would change the way people saw you? 

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Yeah definitely, but mostly from the male gaze. But, I don't think it would have a definite positive or negative response as I would still be curvy no matter how much I lost. I personally would also feel a lot less powerful, which would be projected outwards and therefore decrease my confidence levels. It would change the way some of my family see me and talk to me. 

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What do you think you have struggled with the most? 

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My relationship with food and myself in the eyes of society. It's hard because I know it comes from a place of conflict, which makes it difficult to confront. 

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How do you feel being naked?

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I feel more confident when I'm naked or in my underwear that I do in clothes most of the time. It's more real and solely me, nothing cutting in there, squeezing here or hanging funny, it's just me and that's fabulous. Also when I'm naked or in my underwear I am usually either alone or with someone that respects or loves my body, so there are no negative associations there. 

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How do you feel about shopping?

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I love clothes! I love design! But I do not love shopping! Simply due to being in between plus sizing and regular sizing, it's a minefield finding clothes that fit correctly and in my price range. Well I do like shopping, but only when I'm not pressured or needing anything, when it comes to 'oh I have to get some jeans' or a 'shirt for work' etc, that's where it gets stressful. 

 

What do you love the most about you? 

 

My favourite thing is my femininity and my curves! To be honest sometimes I wish I has more boob or a bigger bum and then I realise what I have fits me and it's great. About myself I like my optimism, drive and creativity, they get me through everything.

 

When do you feel the most beautiful? 

 

When I'm comfortable and confident, which usually happens when I am around people that care about or love me inside and out, people I have created a bond with from the roots up. 

 

Why is your skin a good place to be in? 

 

It's healthy, beautiful, sexy and looks after me as I look after it, we work together. But sometimes I do wish I treated it better and as it deserves.  

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